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Jumat, 14 Desember 2012

There's ENVY

Menurutku aku tidak berbuat yang salah terhadapnya.
Tapi dia membenciku. Kenapa? Itulah yang selalu kutanyakan. Dia selalu berusaha menjatuhkanku. Tapi apa balasanku? Tidak ada. Aku hanya bisa menangis dalam hati. Mengapa dia sejahat itu?

Baru kemarin aku mengetahuinya.
Ternyata dia iri padaku.
Akhirnya aku mengetahuinya.

Karena seseorang yang disukainya suka kepadaku. Juga karena banyak yang lebih berpihak kepadaku.
Mungkin juga karena aku juara kelas.

Kasihan dia, dia tidak bisa mendapatkan apa yang dia inginkan. Kenapa? Aku yakin, karena dia tidak bisa menjadi dirinya sendiri, dia selalu berpikir negatif, dan dia tidak mau berusaha. Ada lagi, dia selalu menolak kritik. 

Aku sangat bersyukur. Tadinya kupikir, akulah yang paling malang. Aku yang tidak pernah mendapat apa yang aku inginkan. Tapi ternyata banyak yang menginginkanku.
Memang, aku selalu bermasalah dengan keinginan. Orang tuaku sering mengabaikanku. Seringkali aku tidak mendapatkan apa yang aku inginkan dan aku juga sering mengalah. Mungkin terlalu sering. Banyak kenyataan buruk yang harus ku hadapi.
Dan untuk seseorang disana : 
"Jgn kamu pikir, hidupku mudah, tolong jgn mempersulit keadaanku. Sudah cukup aku menangis. Banyak masalah yang harus kuhadapi. Dan aku masih punya banyak waktu, jgn sampai waktuku terbuang sia" karena kamu yang benci kepadaku. Terserah kamu, apa yang akan kamu lakukan terhadapku, asalkan jangan memancingku untuk berbuat hal" yang tidak berkenan terhadap Tuhanku"

in trouble

First, these troubles makes me want to give up, want to run away, want to die. I think, there's no God, I think I can't do this. Too many.

I should thankful to Him.
For breath
For the sky
For the cloud
For my complete family
For my friends
For everything.

Actually, I'm not alone, never!

Thank You God, for everything.
These troubles makes me better :)

Kamis, 13 Desember 2012

I can imagine how he will take the camera, take some pictures and show off ><

Now, I want to ask,
Where's my birthday present?
Where's my Christmas present?

First, I think, this december will be so awesome, I'll have all I want. but now, you break all. all my happiness, brother. I'm so proud of you :'(

Please, think about me :(

tpe ulg tahun so dkt.
apa mma m tepati tu janji?
mar...
bru" glen blg, kamera SLR, kg mma blg m bli itu for smua m pke.

okay, kita bkang egois, qt cma m tagih mma p janji.
qt rela tpe sweet 17 nda bking cma demi itu. qt so berkorban bnya, kg ap yg qt dpa?
itu SLR yg m beli cma glen tu mo pake ksiang, kg abis itu nda lama le mo rusak :(
dr dulu qt ska itu, qt b tabung trus, mar qt nda ja dpa" smpe skrg.

pikir kwa tpe perasaan.
qra sto nda saki.

qt p birthday nti sma dg nda prnh ada :(

Jumat, 07 Desember 2012

There's no perfect day

I was very happy this morning till this evening. But at night, they broke my day, certainly, my beautiful day, my warm feeling and my best mood that were so hard to became one.

I remember this morning.
I lead the dawn prayer and holy bible. Then, I went to school, and on my way to school, I met someone special. Really, I didn't expect we will meet this morning. Cz.....
Hmmm... I think, I won't tell you much.

After that, I had a new experiance with my classmates, fantastic baby.
And then, we went to inul vizta for refreshing :)
Sing together with them, makes me happier.

I was so happy today.

Good night everyone :)

Minggu, 02 Desember 2012

I want to be a writer

Tugas cerpen selesai. Lumayan, 5 halaman. 2 jam selesai :D

It feels like, lovely!

I want to be a writer.
I want to write all what I imagine.
I want to be like Ruth Pricilia Angelina or Ilana Tan. I like both of them.
They such teacher for me. Their novels inspirate me :)

I hope one day, I can write a novel :)

Jumat, 30 November 2012

December 30th

Jikalau Tuhan berkenan, tanggal itu akan menjadi sejarah dalam hidupku.
Aku akan diteguhkan menjadi anggota sidi jemaat.

Menjadi seorang sidi jemaat adalah sebuah kerinduan, yang sangat besar.

3 kali melewati pertemuan katekisasi,
Punya alasan. Bukan karena tidak serius dan ingin bermalas-malasan.
Orang-orang sering menuduh yang tidak-tidak, tanpa mereka tahu alasannya dan perasaanku. Tanpa tahu keseriusanku.
Memang dulu aku sering tidak serius, hanya bermain-main, bersenang-senang, dan menyesal, jgn lupa kata itu, menyesal pada akhirnya.
Kali ini, aku bukan aku yang dulu lagi, aku mengambil segala kesempatan yang ada dan tidak akan ku tinggalkan lagi atau kuberikan pada orang lain.

Kali ini, kata menyerah tak akan pernah ku gunakan lagi.

Aku bukan aku yang dulu lagi.
Apapun hambatan yang datang menghadang, aku tak akan pernah menyerah!

Looking for Universities

Duta Wacana Christian University or Pelita Harapan University???

Actually, I want BINUS University to take the International Bussiness Accounting major. But I....
I don't want to make 'em worry, and spend their money a lot to pay all the needs :(

What should I choose? :(

Senin, 26 November 2012

Merry Riana

She was so amazing.

Why did I say that?

Because last night, I attend her seminar at MCC.
Wonderful! 2 thumbs up for her.

Now, I know what I have to do.

I'll hold out from every painful things, and I'll try as hard as I can.

Finally, updated :)

Long time no see. 
Sometimes I miss writing on this blog.
I just renew it, because actually this blog was so weird and funny. 
I made this new design according to my mood now.

So, minna-san, enjoy it! =)

Selasa, 17 April 2012

What should i do??

It comes suddenly. If it is love, I should be happy, but I just feel the pain. Hurtin' but it's fine, i'm okay, i'm good.
Cause, he doesn't leave me so I'm fine :)

Selasa, 03 April 2012

Sadis bray!!!

sih, ntau malo do ng cwo ee...
pe pede juta sx le -___-
lebay le ng. mar nd sadar diri noh.. ba kaca kw ee..
ta harap ng bca ni dy!

bogo" ee..
ntau b bca situasi.

sih, caper skali pa qt, ntau kte d blkg pa qt ad org laeng le.
bkang saki hati ksiang kita mar idih.. mnyasal ta da knal dg org bgtu!
kg gga jo kw kg bking bgni pa qt, ta hargai.. nd ppa. wajar itu. mar ini, FREAK le.. ish >.<

jang ng kira ta mo pake perasaan pa ng.

ng ntau kita pe orang bagimna.
brani satu kali org b dusta akang, siap" jo ta prlakukan istimewa :D

Jaha ksiang kita. hati" jo.

klo so ta salah pa kita, bae" jo noh..

kita ksiang pling susah ja se maaf orang. apalagi tu pang badusta!
biar bgmn, ttap kita ksiang cma manusia biasa, ta da perasaan dg ta b pikir do kang.
kita nd bogo sma dg ng!





Rabu, 15 Februari 2012

My wise words, expressing my love :)

LOVE comes suddenly.
there's no wishes to come
it comes by itself.

LOVE can do everything
whatever it wants
even it means sacrificing something

LOVE is difficult to express with words
but it's revealed by itself with an action

LOVE can't be guessed
It's complicated and unstable

Happy Valentine's Day

This Valentine is like another days..
something special always there :)

yesterday, he gaves me some words. "happy valentine's day blablablabla..."
i think, it's special and just for me.
he did it. he stole my heart, but today i have read that.

There's a girl says love, and he was replay that. he says love too...

God, it's like there's the sharpest knife slicing my heart, and split as some pieces.

Why?

why every handsome boys always do the same?
they were never thinking about what i have now, what i feel now, what i think now.

first, they showed their goodness, and behind me, they showed it too for another girls.

but i'm not stupid,
that was sucks, but not at all.
i don't know why, i just let him. I'm okay, just difficult to accept, but no probs, i can find one better :)

God creates so many boys. Not just him, there are so many good single boys :)

Senin, 13 Februari 2012

I guess . . .

Jesus gaves me some test. And one of it is going on. I'm on patience test now.

he's waiting for me. but i'll waiting 'till he tired. i'll be patient. i won't give up.
i'll win this test. i promise. i'm strong enough, i have Jesus. He will always help me, and all of the test is according to my ability :)

I trust Him. FOREVER i will :)

Kangen :(

Dia pmbae pa qt. Dia bela pa qt. Smpe" dy mmake akang tpe tmang" yg nd stuju dg qt. Dia tulus bantu pa qt. Dia mngarti tpe perasaan. Dia satu"nya cowok yg mngarti tpe perasaan.

Mar skarang, trg so ilang kontak :(
memang qt nd da rasa pa dy, mar biar bagitu qt kangen pa dy.
dia yang ja kse ilang tpe bad mood, kg skg qt da bad mood mar dy nd ada...

Ta rsa, selain kita dg Tuhan yg dsni, nd ad org laeng. tmang" so sibuk dg dri msing". yg qt pnya skarang cma Tuhan Yesus...

Tuhan, tau to tpe perasaan skarang. ta nmau mo stress mo pkir" apa tu mo jadi besok. Tuhan, tolong kse dpe obat.. Please. from now on... :)

Kamis, 09 Februari 2012

I want to be ur close friend :')

emang sih dia agak wild. tapi keren kok...
pengen banget deh jadi close friendnya :')

dia itu... gue banget :D

orangnya baik banget, bisa nangis nih kalo gue jadian ma dia. knapa???
seneng banget dong. tapi sih, tu anak pantesnya dijadiin temen curhat. bae' banget sih orangnya.

kalo misalnya jd pacar kan ntar klo putus, pasti ilang kontak deh.. :(

I REALLY WANT TO BE YOURS :D

seandainya dia balik ke sini, pengen deh gue kenalin sma tmn" smp gue.
asik tuh, bikin envy orang... hahahah :D

he's the one who can make me smile everytime i sad :')

Minggu, 05 Februari 2012

He gaves me whises

He knows that i ever in a relationship with his best friend, isn't he?? :(
I never hope so.. 

Skarang, dia dekat deng kita. Dia beking kita ba harap ulang. Ba harap sampe valentine. 

Tuhan, kita mohon, ini bukang harapan palsu.
although it will be long distance relationship, i can accept :)
i need someone who can makes me happy everytime, and he did. :')

Finally, It's complicated :)

"Being single is wonderful" Taylor Swift.

i think it's the best way, for me or for him. I don't love and i can't love him.
If he wants the best from me, this is the best. I like another boy, and he's his best friend. am i wrong?? what shall i do??? :(

Senin, 30 Januari 2012

I WANNA MOVE ON

I want to go to Germany.
or maybe France.

Just with my family. but i don't have money :(

I want to find a kind boy there... cz i'm going crazy here. Indonesia was so annoying :(
KITA MUSTI BAGIMANA???? :'(

pilih brenti ato lanjut???

dua" bqnk qt menderita :'(

Oh NO!!!

Sepertinya aku DILEMA
Tuhan tolong aku!!! :'(

I CAN'T

i have boyfriend now. I don't like him moreover love him. I just feel sorry.
I think he loves me so, i'm happy but i can't receive all this truth.
it's just waste my time to keep thinking.

i should be happy, i should not crying.
cz now, i've someone who will take care of me.
but i cannot. i cannot replay. i don't love him, i just love my friend. it's not just like but love.

i wanna tell him "lets break"
but i'm afraid he'll down.

What shall i do???

Jesus help me!
i hope i'll get the answer and i'll tell him :)

Sabtu, 21 Januari 2012

I love their best friend !!!

I like a boy. I hope he will be mine. BUT...
His best friend like me. 

OH NOOO!!!

I have been in this position for 2 times..

Ugh >.<
Why??? Argh.. :(

I hate when i like or maybe love a boy and, his best friend like me and he know it. 
Moreover, the boy actually love me back but he just sacrifice for his best friend. 

God, please help me. Maybe imma little bit arrogant. But really.. don't let me broke anymore :(

Kamis, 19 Januari 2012

Long Time No See

Hey... long time no see..

sorry i can't see yaa for a long time.
i gotta school and there r so many homeworks should i do. :)